A little bit about me for those who are interested …
My name is Julie Wilson and I have lived in the Tunbridge Wells area for over 30 years. I separated in 2011 after 27 years of being with my husband and since then I have been through a period of turmoil. Coping with the death of both my parents, one through a sudden illness and the other through suicide. Going through an acrimonious divorce which lasted over 5 years, having our money held to court order, borrowing money, the closing my Interior Design business and going back to working full time in an office.
Life is never easy for anyone and during our marriage I suffered the loss of my first baby dying a day after birth. We had just arrived on holiday in France when I went into labour at 24 weeks pregnant. I was completely in shock. Getting pregnant again I was reassured that the first birth was a rare occurrence and is unlikely to happen again. However at 28 weeks I went into labour and my little boy arrived. Thankfully he survived and is now a strapping 30 year old with two beautiful children of his own. I went on to try again but I threatened to miscarry at 21 weeks and despite the fantastic care of Professor Nicolaides at Kings Hospital my little girl died inside and I had to go into hospital to give birth to her. I am not sure where I found the courage to try again but with my fourth pregnancy I threatened to miscarry at 19 weeks and was advised to take full term bed rest and my beautiful daughter arrived only three weeks early. A true miracle. However, my happiness was soon challenged when my husband’s car was repossessed. I discovered that we were in serious debt. What a rollercoaster life was at that stage but I got through it. My daughter is now 25 and I have so enjoyed the years of her growing into a beautiful woman with an amazing career and future ahead of her. I am so very proud of my children and what they have both made of their lives.
My divorce was not easy, I had the upheaval of moving out of our beautiful family home and the day we completed my husband had all the funds held to court order and it stayed there for 2.5 years whilst we fought it out. The small house I was planning on buying for myself and my daughter had to be let go. Having no money my daughter and I bed hopped between friends and the cat went into a cattery for three months until we could find a solution to my predicament. It is only at times like this when you are so desperate that you see everyone who could help are against you and there is no support. As I had only recently started a full time job I had no security to rent a property and this meant having to pay a years rent in advance. I was so fortunate to have my brother who stepped in to help us.
Once the divorce finalised I was able to buy a flat for myself and my daughter albeit with a mortgage. Yet I have survived, mainly through an inner strength I didn’t know I had but also having the most incredible support from my very wise and sensible elder brother and his wife and the love of my younger brother and his family. I am also extremely lucky to have my two children who kept me going when times have been unbelievably tough. They have kept me grounded and stopped me from becoming too self-absorbed. Despite all these obstacles I have even managed to keep my sense of humour!
I decided that life is far too short and felt it was time to move forward with my life in a different direction. Attending a two-day life coaching weekend was the inspiration I needed and found my “light bulb” moment. I decided to sign up for a life coaching course (The Coaching Academy) but specialising in Divorce (Coach-Training.org). I am now working as a Divorce Coach but this wasn’t enough for me. I have a great empathy for people going through adversity and I want to help as much as possible.
This has led to me training as a loss and grief recovery specialist and bereavement counsellor and if ever there has been a time for this need then it is now.
There are many different losses we all suffer from and not only losing a loved one I have worked with clients suffering from the loss of employment, empty nest syndrome, family and friends who have committed suicide, loss of confidence, loss of faith, loss through divorce, loss at losing their home through debt and loss of the will to live. It has been quite a journey for me to discover how many losses people suffer and how many of them keep their grief and sadness to themselves.
Our world has changed irrevocably over the last year and so many of us are facing such huge changes in our lives. There is a need for support, guidance and mentoring to help each and every one of us through these uncertain times.
Please don’t suffer in silence. Do make contact with me to talk about your loss. I truly mean it when I say I want to help you.
with love
Julie x